Awesome post! I&#39;d been holding off on my own ...

Awesome post! I'd been holding off on my own post, intending to expand on yours. But, you covered everything really well.

I would like to make a couple specific points. First, the order in which you describe things is important. Nine times out of ten, start with Frame, then Opportunity, then end with Threat. Once you describe the Threat, your players aren't likely to listen to much else (and may well interrupt you).

Second, if you are writing this down to be your own boxed text, focus heavily on making every word count. Pull out the thesaurus and look for ways to create and reinforce the feel of the area with every single syllable. Boxed text works best when it is punchy and evocative. It works worst when you descend into purple prose.

Also, practice reading it aloud a few times. Get comfortable with the rhythm of it. Listen for possibly confusing homophones or words that run together. A shocking amount of boxed text in published adventures that I've seen is terribly awkward to read aloud. Especially by a GM who is not a natural orator (as most aren't).

Don't feel you need to be terribly specific during the initial description. "High ceilings" is generally sufficient, rather than "thirty foot high ceilings." Your players aren't likely to remember the numbers anyway. "A jumble of furniture" is more evocative than "a vanity, a dresser, two lamps, and a bookshelf." The point of the boxed text here is to evoke a picture of the room in the players' minds, not cover everything they need to know. If they engage with a part of the room, then you can go into detail (possibly with a secondary piece of boxed text).

Finally, leave room for your players to flesh out the area. This is especially important in story-oriented games. But, even in 4e, allowing the player to suggest that one of the merchants is selling incense which will create a choking cloud of smoke when the booth is ignited is awesome. Too much description on your part can stifle that. So can sticking too closely with the vision of the area that exists in your head.